Patty's Giraffe!
by Infusion Masters Nightmare
Summary: It's Patty's 18th birthday but chaos and mayhem prevails in the mansion! The question is...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Read to find out!


**IMN: Hi everyone and welcome to my very first Fanfiction story! YAAAAAY! XD**

**Soul: Great another author who would make my life hell...**

**Maka: MAKA CHOP! *Hits Soul with book***

**Soul: GAHHH! *Dead x_x***

**IMN: Thanks Maka! Now on with the story! Maka can you do the disclaimer please?**

**Maka: Infusion Masters Nightmare does not own Soul Eater or its characters.**

**IMN: If I did Soul and Maka would be married by now! ^_^**

**Soul and Maka: WAIT A SEC-  
**

* * *

**Patty's Giraffe**

Today was a perfect day in Death City. The sun was shining, the birds are chirping and "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screams of terror are in the air.

All of this was in our favourite mansion owned by none other than Death the Kid. Inside said mansion we shall see our favourite gang surrounding a pile of stuffing, fabric and a collar with a pink heart-shaped tag saying 'Bob the awesome', minus Patty who is sound asleep on the living room couch with loads of childish doodles on her face.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BLACK*STAR!" shouted Liz as she was trying to strangle Black*Star but was held back by Maka.

"MY FAULT?! IT WAS KID'S NOT MINE!" shouted Black*Star as he was held back by Soul.

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO DESTROYED THE DAMN THING!" shouted Kid who was trying to fix said 'damn thing' but failing every time.

"PATTY WILL KILL ME WHEN SHE SEES THIS!" shouted Liz as she points to the pile.

"Liz calm down! There has to be another way!" said Maka as she tries to calm Liz.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT THAT IDIOT DID?!" shouted the 'calm and collected' Soul as he points to Black*Star.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT 'FRIENDS STICK TOGETHER'?! YOU SON OF A-"

"Quiet! You'll wake up Patty!" shouted Tsubaki interrupting Black*Star.

Everyone in the room went silent and turned their heads towards said girl. Still asleep on the couch hugging a giraffe patterned pillow, showing no signs of waking up.

To understand the situation better let's go back to 1 hour ago shall we?

**_1 hour ago 9:30 am_**

Patty was asleep on the couch while the rest of the gang were in the kitchen checking to see if Patty was unconscious.

"Okay, she's out cold." said Soul looking out the door connecting from the kitchen to the living room.

"Good. On to important matters... What to get for Patty's birthday present?" said Liz who sat at the head to the kitchen table.

"You're a very bad sister if you're asking what to get for Patty's birthday present, _on her birthday_." said Black*Star to Liz

"I know but I was busy with missions, school, trying not to vomit during Stein's lessons." everyone shivered when she mentioned said teacher and his 'lessons'. "And **don't** get me started on Kid's OCD breakdowns!"

"Point taken." said everyone at the same time, including Kid.

"How about we take Patty to 'Death's Wild Wonder Park'? She loves the rides and candy and I heard that they are opening a new rollercoaster today." said Tsubaki.

"The advantages of being Lord Death's son is that you can try anything that is new before it's opened to the public. Patty made me ride it _17 times _last week." said Kid who was trying to hold in his anger because of the 'asymmetrical' number.

"Don't worry about it Tsubaki! It was still a good suggestion!" said Maka cheering up one of her best friends "I got it! How about-"

"No books." said everyone in a monotone voice, except for Tsubaki.

"Don't worry Maka, it was very kind that you were thinking about Patty's education when you suggested that." said Tsubaki trying to cheer Maka up.

"No, I was going to say that-"

"Just give her another stuffed giraffe toy and she'll be happy." said an annoyed Soul interrupting Maka.

"She gets one for every week for the past three years." said Liz in a tired tone resting her head on the kitchen table.

"Maybe we should-"

"I say give her a giant poster of me with my autograph!" shouted Black*Star (who surprisingly didn't wake up Patty).

"Guys I think-"

"No one would want that Black*Star! I say we give her a painting with the theme of 8's." said Kid with a dreamy look on his face of a painting with 8's on it.

"Guys-"

"No, she would like a poster of me." Black*Star said to Kid with a threatening tone while trying to smile.

"Wrong, she would like the painting of 8's." Kid said to Black*Star with the same tone and smile.

"No, the poster."

"No, the painting."

"G-" said Maka but was once again ignored.

"Poster."

"Painting."

"Poster"

"Painting."

"_Poster."_

_"Painting"_

_"Pos-ter"_

_"Paint-ing"_

_"Pos-ter!"_

_"Paint-ing!"_

_"_POSTER!"

"PAINTING!"

This goes on while everyone else was watching them arguing back-and-forth like watching a tennis match. That was when Maka snapped.

"WILL YOU BOTH BE QUIET WHILE I SAY WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED?!"

The whole room went silent after that to show Maka that they have given their full attention to her.

"Thank you. What I was going to say was 'why not go to Patty's room to get some ideas for her present?'" The whole room took a minute to process the information before nodding their heads. So the gang went upstairs to Patty's room to get ideas for her present. Not knowing that everything was about to turn to hell.

* * *

_**9:40 am outside of Patty's room**_

"Okay here we are." said Liz standing outside a pink door with crayon drawings and very messy handwriting saying 'Patty's room' or 'Patty was here' or just plain nonsense.

Kid was trying with all his will power not to run down stairs, give Patty a lecture of 'how disgusting asymmetrical things are' and run back with a tin of paint to hide this monstrosity that is a door. When the gang opened the door all they saw was pink, white, yellow and brown. The walls were light pink, the same shade as the door. The bed was also pink with lots of giraffe toys as far as the eye can see. The rest of the furniture was white but with lots of childish doodles on them.

"So this is what Patty's room is like." said Tsubaki with a face full of awe.

"It's so cute, like a little girls room." said Maka in a happy voice.

"Lets look around and **don't** touch anything." Liz said turning her head towards Black*Star.

"Why are you looking at me?!" shouted Black*Star but the others ignored him and spread out to look around the room. 5 minutes went by and nothing pops out at all then while Black*Star was daydreaming about surpassing God, he knocked into something in front of him. It was a large giraffe toy with a collar with a pink heart as a tag saying 'Bob the awesome'. The toy was a head taller than Black*Star and it looked old and rugged compared to the rest of the toys in Patty's room.

"Why the hell would Patty have this ugly thing?" asked Black*Star as he was about to touch said 'ugly thing'.

"Get away from the giraffe Black*Star! **Don't touch it!**" screamed Liz and she made sure to put emphases on the last sentence as she ran to Black*Star. Black*Star froze then jumped back several feet before Liz tackled him.

"Whats going on? What did you do this time?" said Soul as he walked over to Black*Star. "ME?! She was the one who almost KILLED ME!" shouted Black*Star pointing to Liz as she scanned the giraffe from every angle to see if it's damaged.

"Why did you freak out when Black*Star was going to touch it?" asked Tsubaki as she walked over to Liz.

"This is Patty's favourite giraffe! It was her very first toy and she loves this thing to pieces ever since she was 5. It was custom-made by our favourite grandma in Canada. If she finds _one hair_ missing from his head, bad things would happen. BAD THINGS!" said Liz as she continues scanning the toy of any damages.

"I didn't know you're part Canadian." said Black*Star in wonder. Everyone else just glares at him while thinking 'he's an idiot'.

"Still that giraffe looks like it's seen better days. Maybe we could fix it up to make it look brand new." said Maka to the others. Liz pauses her actions and looks at Maka.

"Yeah...Patty always says she wish she could fix him up but we were too busy. That's a perfect idea for a birthday present!" She exclaimed while running up to Maka and shaking her hand furiously. "You're a genius Maka! You saved my life!"

"When we fix this piece of junk I say we should replace the spots with my autographs!" said Black*Star heading towards Bob with a marker that appears from who knows where.

"No it would ruin the toy and Patty would be upset. I say we cover the spots and stitch on new spots to make it perfectly symmetrical." Kid said as he snatches the giraffe away from Black*Star holding the giraffe's head.

"No, no, no. We're using my signature for the spots." said Black*Star holding the giraffe's legs, pulling the toy towards him. Both not noticing a rip where the neck meets the body.

"We're replacing the spots and arrange them symmetrically." Kid said as he tugs the neck. Rip.

"Using my signature." Rip

"Arrange them symmetrically." Rip

"Signature." Rip

"Symmetrical." Rip

"Sig-na-ture!" Rip, rip, rip.

"Sym-met-tri-cal!" Rip, rip, rip, rip.

"WE ARE DOING IT MY WAY" Both shouted at the same time before.

_RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP PPPPPPPPP!_

Before anyone knew it there was stuffing everywhere and the giraffe toy was split in two.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** screamed Liz while she grabbed the head from Kid and the body from Black*Star.

"Don't die on me Bob! We need you alive! Breathe!" Liz yelled while giving CPR and mouth-to-mouth to the toy (if that was possible).

"Liz calm down! It's no use, you can't give a toy CPR!" yelled Maka trying to hold the struggling Thompson.

"I don't care if I have to be Stein's next victim and live my days as a dog! I need that giraffe ALIVE and UNHARMED for me to stay alive!" yelled Liz as she continues to struggle.

"What are you talking about Liz?" asked Soul from plain curiosity. Liz paused her struggling and lowered her head until it her bangs covered her eyes.

"When Patty and I were still living in New York as the Thompson sisters, a mafia gang entered our hideout. They wrecked the place until they found Bob, they laughed and called us babies and then *gulp* they tore off Bob's ear. Patty was so mad she broke almost every bone in their body, put their guns in places guns should **_never _**be and hung them by their feet on the tallest building with nothing but their underwear and a VERY thin rope!" said Liz while the others stared at her with fear written on their faces.

Liz then lifted her head to show a face like she has seen an army of high level Kishins with ten heads and hundreds of blades and army ghosts by their side. "If Patty sees Bob like this it would make that incident look like a crumb and *GLUP* we might not live at all!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed everyone running around the bedroom. Maka and Tsubaki just stood there watching them acting like headless chickens.

"QUIET!" everyone stops and listens after both girls shouted. "This is a simple solution. All we have to do is sitch the neck back to the body before Patty wakes up. Good thing I always bring my sewing kit with me." said Tsubaki as she pulls out a hand sized bag.

"Why do you have a sewing kit in your pocket?" asked Soul trying to regain what ever cool he has left.

"When you're Black*Stars partner you tend to find lots of rips in his clothing from missions or training." said Tsubaki with a sigh and a tired look on her face.

"I'll help too since I know how to sew as well." said Maka

"And I'll go with you to bless the toy with my awesome presence!" shouted Black*Star.

"NO!" shouted everyone, fearing for Bob's life with Black*Star around.

"As tempted as I am to get you out of my sights, we need the toy fixed NOT destroyed by your stupidity!" said Kid to Black*Star.

"Humph! Three stripes." huffed Black*Star. That striked Kid hard when he was reminded of his asymmetrical flaw.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! I'M A DISGRACE! WHY I'M I CURSED WITH THESE HORRID STRIPES AT ONE SIDE OF MY HEAD! I DESERVE TO DIE!" sobbed Kid as he was on his knees and pounding his fist to the floor.

"We'll go to a different room to fix the toy. Liz you can handle Kid for us. See ya." said Maka as she and Tsubaki walked out of the room.

* * *

_**10:25 am-Living Room**_

Liz, Soul, Kid and Black*Star were all in the Living room waiting on Maka and Tsubaki, who were in the kitchen working on Bob's 'operation'. Soul was sitting on the couch listening to music from his iPod through his red headphones. Kid was looking around the room to make sure it was symmetrical, for the fifth time. Black*Star sat next to Patty, who was still asleep, drawing doodles on her face with the same marker from before. Now he is drawing a giant moustache and glasses. Liz was pacing in front of the kitchen door with a worried look on her face. Suddenly Tsubaki comes out of the kitchen with an emotionless face.

"How is he Tsubaki? Did he survive?" said Liz as she ran over to Tsubaki. The boys also walked to Tsubaki to see if they are safe or to be damned by Patty's rage.

With a smile Tsubaki said, "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Moving away from the door they see Maka holding Bob. He had no signs of being damaged, he looked clean and brand new, as if he was just bought at the store.

"Is that Bob? He looks good as new?" said Kid looking for any signs of rips.

"Cool, how did you guys do it?" Soul asked his partner.

"That's a woman's secret." Said Maka with a finger to her lips and winked at Soul.

"Come on! Lets take him to the Living room, Patty will wake up any second now." said Liz dragging Bob through the door.

Once in the Living room Black*Star stared at the toy giraffe with wonder. "I can't believe this is the same damn ugly toy from before. He looks so soft, I just want to touch ***SLAP*** OW!" said Black*Star as he reached out to touch the giraffe but his hand was slapped by Liz.

"You are not touching the giraffe! Everything you touched is either destroyed or damaged! You're lucky that Maka and Tsubaki saved your ass or else I would personally kick your ass to the sun! I am not taking another chance with you!" yelled Liz shielding the toy with her body.

"You can't hurt your God! I'm just ahead of my time!" yelled Black*Star rubbing his sore hand.

"Please, the only God you'll ever be is the God of destruction and idiots." said Kid.

"Take that back Kid!" shouted Black*Star.

"Make me!" said Kid acting like a five-year old. Before anyone knew it, Kid narrowly dodging Black*Star attacking with his Soul Wavelength. Everyone watched as Black*Star kept on attacking Kid while Kid narrowly dodges his attacks. None of them notice that they were heading towards Bob.

"Take this Kid! BLACK*STAR'S BIG WAVE!" shouted Black*Star using his powerful move but Kid dodged once again, making the attack hit what was behind Kid. Yep unfortunately, Bob the giraffe. The attack hit the toy and seconds later the toy exploded leaving nothing but stuffing, fabric and Bob's collar. Everyone was speechless for a moment until Liz let out a scream of terror.

And here we are back to where our story began.

"What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?!" sobbed Liz.

"We're going to DIE! I don't want to die before my time!" sobbed Black*Star.

"Even if Patty doesn't kill you, I gonna KILL YOU!" shouted Maka.

"Yaaaaawwwwwn." everyone froze when they heard the voice of the birthday girl herself WAKING UP!

"Morning guys. What's going on?" Patty said sleepily while she sits up.

Everyone quickly covered 'Bob's remains' before Patty fully wakes up. "Happy Birthday Patty." everyone said awkwardly, worrying that Patty would notice what's behind them.

"Awwww! Thanks guys, I almost forgot! I'm going to my room now!" said Patty who jumped off the bed and headed towards the stairs.

'If Patty notices Bob missing, we're DOOMED!' thought everyone before Kid ran in front of Patty, who was inches away from the stairs.

"Patty why don't we go to the toy shop today? I'll buy you TWO giraffes for your birthday present!" said Kid mentally praying that Patty didn't see Bob.

"Thanks but no thanks. I got three giraffe toys from Ms Marie yesterday but thanks anyway!" said Patty going around Kid but before she took the first step on the stairs, Soul went in front of her.

"Why don't you listen to the songs I have on my IPod? It has Maroon 5." said Soul knowing that Patty can't resist listening to her favourite band. He was 100% sure that she would-.

"Thanks but I've got all their CD's in my room. I really want to go to my room to get changed." said Patty with an annoyed voice getting past Soul but was stopped half way up the stairs AGAIN buy the girls.

"Say Patty, why don't we have a girl's day out?" said Tsubaki trying to act natural.

"Yeah! We haven't had a girl's day out in weeks! Plus we'll go to any shop you want to go to!" said Maka trying to convince the birthday girl to go with them.

"Also I saw the cute check-out guy from Death's Blitz _checking you out _last time." said Liz knowing that Patty has a little crush on the guy.

"Great idea but I don't want to go out shopping IN MY PJ'S!" shouted Patty showing her sister her pink tank top and shorts with brown giraffe spots on them.

"I'll be down in 5 minutes when I get changed." growled Patty. She was so angry that her friends and sister were trying to stop her from getting into her room, that if someone stops her one more time-

"HEY PATTY! HOW ABOUT I-" shouted Black*Star at the top of the stairs before getting a punch in the face from the Birthday Girl.

"Alright, what the hell is going on and why are you guy trying to stop me from going to my room?!" shouted Patty. The gang trying to hide Bob's remains from her before she full turns around.

"Nothing..." said everyone i stereo trying to act innocent but a nervous tone in their voices, the fake smiles and the fact that they were sweating bullets wasn't helping them at all.

Before anyone knew it Patty ran down the stairs and pushed past everyone to see the remains. Everyone was behind her didn't see her face but they could see the murderous aura that was coming from her body.

"What. Happened. To. Bob?" said Patty with a voice that gotten scarier with each word she said. After she said that everyone was talking at once for five minutes before bowing down saying, "PLEASE DON'T KILL US PATTY, WE'RE SORRY!"

Before anyone knew it the murderous aura disappeared and Patty was laughing...**_LAUGHING?!_**

Shocked by Patty's unexpected reaction, everyone glanced at one another.

"Patty we destroyed your favourite toy and you're _laughing_?!" said Kid who was clearly confused by Patty's reaction along with everyone else in the room.

"HA HA HA! That's not Bob, it's his evil twin brother Rob. I just put a yellow sticker on his face to cover his moustache!" said Patty before having another round of laughing. Everyone turned to the remains and having a closer look they did saw a yellow sticker partly covering a black moustache.

"Wait, this was a prank?!" shouted everyone looking at the youngest Thompson for an explanation.

"Yep!" said Patty with making a popping sound with the 'p'.

"WHY?!"

"I knew Sis didn't get me a present because she spent all her money on new clothes, shoes and make-up. So I decided to have a some payback for buying me a last-minute present!" said Patty acting like her 5-year-self again. Everyone else just glared at the older sibling for forgetting that useful information.

"He he heh.. Oops... I forgot to tell you I was broke..." said Liz nervously while scratching her head with a perfectly manicured hand.

"Liz, you always use _my_ credit card so that means I'M BROKE!" shouted Kid who was livid that Liz spent all his money on more clothes and other things that would be left in random places in the house.

"Wait, if that's Rob, then where's Bob?" asked Maka. Seconds later there was 8 chimes that signaled that someone was at the door. It is Kid's home after all. Then the door opened to show Lord Death outside with a giant box in his arms.

"Whats up! Whats up! Special delivery for Patty Thompson all the way from Canada!" shouted Lord Death as he placed the box on the ground and opened the box to reveal...BOB?! Not only was Bob in the box but he looked brand new, like he was just bought from a shop seconds ago. He had a purple and white stripped ribbon around his neck with a 8 inch star-shaped tag with the words '**Bob the Awesome! New and Improved!**' written in golden letters.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBB BBBBBBB!" shouted Patty as she ran and then tackled Bob, who surprisingly stayed standing after a powerful tackle from Patty.

"I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I CAN'T BELEIVE THAT YOU WERE AT GRANDMA'S FOR 3 WEEKS! YOU LOOK EVEN MORE AWESOME!" shouted Patty while she hugged him like a koala.

While the 'bonding scene' was going on, you could hear Lord Death sniffling. "I swear, there is nothing more powerful than the bond between a girl and her toy giraffe." said Lord Death as he wiped a tear from his eye by his giant, rectangular hand.

Meanwhile the rest of the gang was still in a state of shock and trying to regain what happened in the last 5 minutes. "We've been out smarted by a 18-year-old girl who thinks like a 5-year-old..." said everyone not realising that they said it out loud. They also didn't realise that Liz fainted from the shock and that her soul was floating from her body.

Let this be a lesson to all of us... NEVER forget your sibling's birthday. Plan ahead and don't buy them present at the last-minute because there is nothing scarier than an angry sibling on their birthday.

**THE END**

* * *

**IMN: YAAAAAAAAAAAY! My first fanfiction is now complete! ^_^**

**Black*Star: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A GOD LIKE ME A PUNCH BAG IN YOUR STORY!**

**Tsubaki: Black*Star! Don't scare the new author!**

**Soul: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A COOL GUY LIKE ME SUFFER IN YOUR STORY!**

**IMN: *Running from angry Soul and Black*Star* MAKA! HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!**

**Maka: MAKA CHOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP! *Hits boys with 1000 page books***

**Soul & Black*Star: GAHHH! *Dead X_X***

**IMN: Maka, your my hero! ((((Hugs Maka))))**

**Maka: No problem. Are you forgeting something?**

**IMN: Oh yeah! Thank you readers for reading my first fanfiction also please make any corrections if there were any mistakes!**

**IMN, Maka, Tsubaki: READ AND REVIEW!**


End file.
